Jane's Story AKA Don't let me Get Me
by Mckenzie Weir
Summary: I'm reposting this story after reading the previouse posting and seeing how screwed up the chapters where, sorry about that. It about being yourself and
1. Looking Back

Jane's Story  
A.K.A  
Don't let me get me!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story with the exception of Jane (The Jane part not the other part I can't explain it further or I would give the story away.) The song Jubilee sings is "Don't Let Me Get Me" is by Pink I don't own that either. (Or any of the other songs) I had to change the lyrics in two places to fit the character. I apologise if this bothers anyone but one of the original versus would include an allusion to pedophilia due to the differences in age.  
~…. ~ Means thoughts not spoken. This last thing should also be obvious when you read the story I know nothing about gymnastics!!!!!!!!!!!! I fudged everything in the story about them. I'm not great at accents so you have to use you imagination a bit. Last but not least R&R please and pyro's don't scare me.  
This piece is dedicated to Mrs Bratina, as I promised my first published story. I know you expected a book but I am part of the E-Generation.   
To my brother my thanks for helping me with the grammar. (Yes I know that is a fragmented sentence)  
To all Love luck and Wishes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Heather D. Lawless  
  
Jubilee entered the academy's Gym; she set her small boom box on the Floor. She shed her large yellow slicker and baggy blue jeans. She stood dressed only in a pair of spandex red shorts and a tight blue tee. From a pocked of her coat she produced what appeared to be two long pieces of material. With a practiced hand she wrapped and twisted them around her hands and wrists. Satisfied that she was physically prepared she walked over to the blue mats that now lined the floor and began a simple stretching routine. Mentally preparing herself for what was to come, she thought back to how this had come to be.  
Two years ago at the age of Fourteen Jubilee had left the X-men to join Generation –X at the academy. Generation –X and the academy itself owed its life to Professor Charles Xavier. It was a school in which the students where schooled not only in the usual subjects but also in how to use there unique gifts. Every student at the academy was a mutant, as where the instructors. Their powers as varied as their background. Jubilee had pyrokinetic powers, which meant that she could shot fireworks from her fingers. Paige code named Husk had the ability to shed her outer skin to reveal a new form underneath. She came from her parent's farm in Kentucky. Monet St Cross came from a rich family from a high-class neighbourhood. Her powers where flight, near invulnerability, enhanced strength, telepathy, and high intelligence. Angelo aka Skin came straight out of the hood in south central LA, his ability was dermal flexibility manipulation. The ability to manipulate 6 feet of extra skin. Everett came from St Louis and had the mutation of synchronicity the ability to synch his mutagenetic rainbow aura to the mutants near him, thus giving him the ability to use their powers for a limited time. The final student was Jonothon came from Britain his power consisted of psionic energy, ability to fire blasts of psionic energy and capability of psionic speech.   
Sean was in Ireland visiting his parent's witch left Emma to run the entire school. During a recent training exercise Emma had remarked that the students where lacking in balance and grace, her solution Gymnastics. She decided that the entire student body needed to take up the sport in order to better prepare them for life as X-men. Emma's equipment had arrived earlier today and had already been installed. Tomorrow they would begin training, despite the boys grumbling.   
Jubilee stood up she stepped over to the boom box and switched it on. The way she had her tape set up she had three minutes to get ready. With one final deep breath she chalked her hands and jumped grabbing the shorter of the two uneven bars.  
The music Started and so did she. Slowly and unsure at first but soon fast and confident. The young girl leaped and twisted around the bars as easily as anything. She smiled throughout the routine; lasting seven minutes, and ending in a perfect landing. Lost in her own world she continued through several other routines on various equipment. As her last routine finished she stood in the middle of the gym panting.   
This was part of her past, the part she hide. Her mind flashed back. She was eleven when she had finally run away from home. She didn't have what many would see as a bad life. She just couldn't shoulder the pressure anymore. ~It's like I had to live up this perfect ideal. ~ She thought to herself. ~I hated the mould I hated having to fit into it. Now I'm still in a mould it's just a different shape. ~ She was five when it all started. Her mother had enrolled her in gymnastics class. It was supposed to help her make friends and round out her activities as her mother had said. She already took piano and violin she also had a heavy interest in reading. She had excelled in the sport. She loved it, she always felt so free during her routines. By the time she was six her parents had her competing, she wasn't wild about competing. The work was fun but the pressure wasn't. She had done it though, if only to please her parents. She started in serious competition at the age of eight. Before she ran away she had heard her parents talking about Olympic training. The last competition she had been in had netted her roughly three thousand.   
Tomorrow when she started gymnastics with the rest of the team she would have to pretend to be bad. To be clumsy and uncoordinated it was expected of her. She had wanted one more time, one more run though for herself first. 


	2. First lesson

"Alright class, we will begin slowly. First I shall explain to you all of the equipment and their uses, them we shall stretch and begin on the pummel horse." Emma stood before her students; she wore a perfectly white outfit. White leotards, white tights, and white spandex shorts. After the explanations and the stretching she had all the students line up. "The first piece of equipment we will use is called the pummel horse, and no Jubilee it is not called the pummel horse because you hit it!" Emma cut off Jubilees joke. "For this exercise you will take a running start jump off the spring board and flip over the pummel horse, to do this properly will have to grab the handles. Monet would you begin?"   
Monet did as told and executed a near perfect jump in her hast however she neglected to let go of the handles and so the entire horse flipped with her. Paige, Jono and Everett failed to stick he landing and Angelo tripped over his skin. Jubilee had planned on doing bad but once she started her approach her mind blanked, the next thing she knew she was on the other side of the horse and just avoided raising her hands into a landing pose.  
"Jubilee!?" Emma stated in shock.  
"It's not all that different from jumping a fence." Jubilee quickly covered.   
"Seeing as how most of you performed, perhaps we should back up a bit and try the balance beam. Emma had moved over to that piece of equipment in general and motioned to it. "Before we leave this room tonight you will all have successfully walked the length of it, with out falling." This as it turned out was not the easy for all the students. Monet was fine again; Paige also did it on her first try attributing it to the fact that she and her siblings had often walked along the fences at home. Jono and Everett took a bit longer to get the hang of it. It was his skin rather than gravity that tripped up Angelo most often. This time Jubilee made sure she was the last to get it. She made herself fall three times more than Angelo.  
  
Later Paige and Jubilee sat in their room nursing their wounds.   
"Ah would have thought yah would be good on the balance bean. Seeing as how yah never seam to fall on yah roller skates."  
Jubilee's head shot up, she had been lying down with ice pacts on her shoulder and hip. "First of all Hayseed, its Blades. Roller Skates are antique things with two rows of wheels, Roller Blades only have one. And I have one Blade on each foot, that's two Blades. Having two points on the ground makes it easier to balance than only one no mater the size." Yawn "Besides I've been Blading for years, I've had lots of practice."  
"Yeah I guess," Paige, said not sounding at all convinced. "Yah think Miss Frost'll keep up with the gymnastics?"  
"Probably, least till Sean comes back." Yawn" She likes doing stuff like that. I think she likes being the only one in charge." Jubilee yawned again this time drawing Paige in to the act herself.  
The young blond got up from her seat at her desk and lay down on her bed. "Ah suppose she'll have us in the gym most'a tomorrow too." She commented fighting back another yawn. "By the way, have yah thought about the talent show. Ah know it sound stupid I mean there are only eight students in the school. But it could be fun, kinda a bonding thing."  
"Yeah, maybe it might be fun. And no I haven't figured out what I'm gonna do yet." Yawn, "This whole gymnastic things kinda made me for get about it. Listen Hayseed today kinda wore me out, how bout we talk tomorrow?" Yawn. "Hayseed?" Turning her head to the right she saw that Paige had already fallen fast asleep. Jubilee got up and covered Paige with the quilt kept at the foot of the blonde's bed. She turned off Paige's bed side light before crossing over to crawl into her own bed and turn her own off. 


	3. Hidden Talent

The next few days saw the students slowly progressing in their gymnastic training. Most of the students became increasingly pleased with themselves as they advanced. Even the Boys seemed happy with the training. Jubilee on the other hand, seemed to grow more and more sullen as the days went by. To Paige it seemed that Jubilee was less sullen than frustrated. She finally cornered Jubilee in their room one night. "Yah don't seem to be enjoying yahself in gymnastic. Don't cha like em?"  
"I love them that's the problem." Jubilee admitted.  
"Ah don't get it, if yah love gymnastics then yah'll should be in heaven. So why aren't cha having fun?"  
"Because I can't be good at them."  
"If yah practice I'm sure yah'll get better. Yah didn't learn to blade in a day did yah?"  
"No it was a weekend." Jubilee answered off handily. "But that's not it, I am good at it I just can't be good at it here."  
"Common Jubes now yah're being delusional."  
"I'll prove it common." Jubilee grabbed her Gym bag and headed out the door.  
"Where are we going?"  
"To the gym of course. I'm going to show you that I can do it."  
"Jubes…"  
"Don't. Just common." They walked in silence until they reached the gym. "Here Hayseed toss this in the stereo. "Jubilee tossed her tape to Paige. She entered the changing room and changed quickly. On her return she told Paige to press play. Jubilee jumped up and grabbed the lower uneven bar. The music started and so did Jubilee she soared through her routine landing perfectly and turning to look at Paige.   
"But how? It took yah so long to get the Balance beam." Jubilee walked over to the stereo and cued the tape and pulled herself up onto the balance beam. Her routine on the balance beam was just as intricate and as well executed as the first. Once finished this routine Jubilee indicated that she wanted to return to their room. Paige followed.  
"What was that?"  
"That was Gymnastics, haven't you been paying attention in class?"  
"Jubes, why don't yah do that in class?"  
"Cause I can't!"  
"Yes yah can! I just saw yah!"  
"You don't understand I'm not suppose t o be able to do that."  
"Why not?"  
"Because I'm Jubilee, I'm uncoordinated, I'm slow, I can't do that!"  
"Yah make it sound like yahr playing a part Jubes. This is yahr life if yah can do it then yah can do it. Unless there's a reason why yah don't want us to know yah can do that."  
Jubilee looked away from Paige. "It's nothing I just used to take lessons. No one here would believe that I could do that so I don't it's just easier."  
"If it's so much easier than why is it so frustrating for yah? Jubes just because we may not think yah can do something doesn't mean yah shouldn't. 'Sides wouldn't yah love to see the look on M's face if you did that. I mean she's no where near where you are."  
"Yeah I guess that part would be okay. She'd like totally go catatonic." Jubilee smiled.   
"Jubilee we like yah because of who yah are, not because of what we think yah are. Yah know that right. Yah can tell me anything."  
"Yeah, its just something from a very long time ago. From before I left home. So have you figured out what you're going to do for the talent show? I heard Angelo taking earlier and he's thinking about doing a rap type thing."   
Paige knew better then to push for something Jubilee wanted to keep hidden. She decided instead just to go with this new subject.  
"That would be, well…Normal wouldn't it? Doesn't he do that all the time anyway?"  
"Paige we've been living together for two years I really don't think we have any hidden talents left."  
"I would have said that too, but yah showed me a talent I didn't know yah had." Jubilee took a breath to speak but Paige cut her off. "I won't tell anyone. If yah had wanted them to know yah would have done that in class. Night, see yah in the morning." Paige crawled into her bed and turned off her light. Similarly Jubilee climbed into her bed and turned off her light but it was awhile before she was able to fall asleep.   
She had realized something that night. She wasn't happy. She wanted to be but she wasn't. It seemed like the more she tried to be normal and happy the less she was. ~Maybe it's time to stop trying so hard. Maybe it's time to stop fighting who I am~ Drifting off to sleep that night she had made one decision, she wasn't going to fake her gymnastics the next day. 


	4. Revelation

"Alright class today I will allow you to begin building a routine on any piece of equipment you wish. The routine when finished must be five minutes long…" Angelo Cut Emma off.   
"What should it look like? Could you show us one?"  
"Well…" Emma was once again cut off this time by Jubilee.   
"Can I try to demonstrate? I think I can show you what a routine would look like."   
"Jubilee your joking is not welcome at the moment."  
"I'm not kidding Miss Frost. I'll make you a deal if I can't show you what a gymnastic routine looks like then you can give me detention for a month and I won't complain."  
Emma still felt as though she was being set up but figured that what ever Jubilee had planned it could not warrant more than a week in detention so she agreed to the deal.  
"Paige I think my tape is still in the player will you rewind it for me." She got up and stepped on to the mats, she stood looking up at the parallel bars. "Um I may need a hand Monet would you mind?" Monet also dubious of Jubilee's intent looked quickly at Emma for her permission then she easily lifted Jubilee up to the bars. Paige hit play and the music started.   
Emma and the rest of the team watched spellbound as Jubilee worked her way through her routine. She was barely even out of breath when she landed on the ground.   
"Will that do or should I show you another one? I can show you a less complicated one if you prefer."   
"Jubilee where on earth did you learn to do that? And when?"  
"California and quite a few years ago ma'am."  
"Why didn't you do that when we started this endeavour?"  
"Because I was kind of worried about the response I would get. It's not really the kind of thing I usually do."  
"That's true I suppose. You took lessons then?  
"Yes for several years. My parents insisted upon it."  
"Did you ever compete? Your like amazing at it." Angelo asked.  
"Yes, I was never big on the competition aspect of the sport but it kind of goes hand in hand with the fun stuff."  
"I suppose there's not much I can teach you then? I can't believe I'm going to offer you this but I suppose you could go do something else if you wish." Emma said still shocked.  
"Actually ma'am I really enjoy this, would I it be okay if I just played around on the equipment or maybe help you teach?"   
"Of course if that is what you would fine. I would appreciate your help and I think we will take you up on the easier routine you offered to show us."  
"Yeah sure. Paige can you set the tape to 458 please." The rest of Jubilee's afternoon was spent helping her teammates on their routines and showing then a few harder moves.   
Emma gathered her students before she allowed the lesson's to end for the day. "I know many of you are unsure and perhaps apathetic about the talent show so I have an idea to help make it more interesting. What ever your act is it must represent you. Either now or in the past. That's all for now. I believe Angelo and Jubilee are on supper duty tonight."  
"So chica how come you never showed us what you could do before? "  
"I suppose that there was never a reason. But I'm about to show you another ability I've been hiding but first we have to hit the grocery store for supplies."  
The next hour was spent speeding round the grocery store to get all the ingredients for supper. Then another hour of cooking mostly done by Jubilee. That night the academy was treated to a very good meal, in fact it was the closest to gourmet food they had ever had on the table. Not including the odd time Emma got frustrated in the kitchen and ended up just ordering out from some restaurant. 


	5. Small Talk

Emma had been spun into a state of shock by Jubilees actions today not only the gymnastics but also the supper. She decided to just put it down to Jubilee's eclectic personality. At the end of dinner Emma reminded the student that there where only three days left until the talent show and that they all had to have acts.   
"Ah have no idea what Ah could do for the talent show." Paige moaned.   
"You could read some of that poetry you've always got your nose in."  
"Ah not that good at reciting it. Shakespeare just doesn't work with an accent, least not a southern one. Do yah know what yah doing yet?"  
"Yeah actually I heard a song on the radio the other day that I think is just perfect. You could always just find a song that fits you I think that's what everybody else are doing."  
"I guess. What's yahr song?"  
"You'll find out at he show with everybody else. Tell you what after class tomorrow I'll go to the mall with you. I have to pick out an outfit for the show. You can brows at a CD store. Maybe you'll get an idea."  
"Yeah maybe. Night Jubes"  
"Night Hayseed!" Jubilee sat in bed thinking about her up coming performance she had decided that the talent show was the perfect place to end it. She was tired of this life. Her hand unconsciously when up to caress two keys which hung on a chain around her neck.  
~Yeah, This'll all end soon. It has to; I can't go on like this. I think I'm losing myself. ~ 


	6. Talent Show

************************************************************************  
Thee Days Later At The Talent Show  
************************************************************************  
Jubilee was the last of the student to perform. The roster was  
Everett Singing Savage Garden's "Affirmation"  
Paige Singing Kelita's "Strong One"  
Angelo Singing Bon Jovi's "It's My Life"  
Monet Singing Destiny Child's "Independent Women"  
Jono Singing Jono Starmore's "Bad Night"  
And then Jubilee was on. The other students when up and sang there songs all gave reasons why   
"I'm going to sing Savage Garden's song "Affirmation" and I choose it because I believe a lot of what they say in it." Everett sung his song.  
"Am going to sing "Strong One" by Kelita, when Ah was growing up Ah was always supposed to take care of my younger siblings while mah parents worked and Sam was out so Ah sometimes felt like Ah just didn't want to be the strong on anymore. She sang her song  
"I'm gonna sing Bon Jovi's "Its My Life" Cause that's kinda how I felt when I lived on the streets." He sang his song.  
"I'm going to sing "Independent Women" by Destiny's child as I like to think to think of myself as independent." She sang her song  
"This 'ere a song I wrote a while back in England. It was about 'ow I first felt when I got me powers." He sang his song.  
Finally it was Jubilees turn she stood on the stage with her long yellow trench coat done up so that all the other students could see was her runners and part of her jeans. "I heard this song on the radio a few days ago and it was just perfect. It fit the way I felt five years ago and it fits the way I find myself feeling again today. Five years ago I ran away from home and from who I was. That's when I created Jubilee. Today I find myself feeling the way I felt when I ran away. 'So Doctor, Doctor wont you please prescribe me something. A day in the life of someone else'. I don't care if you like it. I hope you get it." The music started, Jubilee shed her coat to reveal a tight red tee underneath and tight ripped jeans. She sang in perfect tone.  
  
"Never win first place,  
Don't support the team,  
Can't take directions,  
And my socks are never clean,  
  
Teacher jaded me,  
My parent hated me,  
I was always in a fight,  
Cause I can't do anything right,  
  
Everyday I fight a war against the mirror,  
I can't take the person starring back at me,  
  
I'm a hazard to myself,  
Don't let me get me,  
I'm my own worst enemy,  
It's bad when you annoy yourself,  
So irritating,  
Don't want to be my friend,  
I want to be somebody else,  
I want to be some body else,  
Yeah,  
  
L.A. told me,  
You'll be a pop star,  
All you have to change,  
Is everything you are,  
  
  
So tired of being compared  
To dam Brittany Spears,  
She's so pretty,  
That's just not me,  
  
So doctor doctor won't you please prescribe me something,  
A day in the life of some one else,  
Cause,  
  
I'm a hazard to myself,  
Don't let me get me,  
I'm my own worst enemy,  
It's bad when you annoy yourself,  
So irritating,  
Don't want to be my friend,  
I want to be somebody else,  
I want to be some body else,  
  
I'm a hazard to myself,  
Don't let me get me,  
I'm my own worst enemy,  
It's bad when you annoy yourself,  
So irritating,  
Don't want to be my friend,  
I want to be somebody else,  
I want to be some body else,  
  
*********Guitar solo*******  
I'm a hazard to myself,  
Don't let me get me,  
I'm my own worst enemy,  
It's bad when you annoy yourself,  
So irritating  
Don't want to be my friend,  
I want to be somebody else,  
I want to be some body else,  
  
As the last cords of the song faded out Jubilee stared out at the audience. Emma stood up. "Jubilee are you telling us that you believe you are a hazard to your self in a physical sense?" Jubilee could feel the White Queen trying to read her thoughts.  
"It's Jane and no."  
"Well Jane," Emma began in a very patronizing voice "I think that maybe you might need some help. I know you must be under a lot of stress. And what with your sudden changes and all…"  
"I'm not crazy," Jane defended herself. " Not yet anyways. I told you I made Jubilee when I ran away and now I can't be her any more."   
"Why because you're afraid you'll hurt her?" Emma had begun slowly walking towards the stage.  
"No. I'm afraid if I stay her anymore there won't be a me anymore."  
"I see. So your not yourself is what your saying?"  
"Yes, no, well, I wasn't me, but I want to be me again." Jubilee began backing away from Miss Frost. "Miss Frost I'm not Jubilee I'm Jane. I need to be Jane again before I lose her."  
"You're confused right now, you are Jubilee I have you birth certificate..."  
"You as much as anyone should know you can buy papers to be who ever you want."  
"It's been a long day, maybe you should go to your room and get some sleep we can talk about his in the morning. When you feel more like yourself."  
"I'm never going to feel more like Jubilee. I wan to feel more like myself, my real self. Jane." Giving up on changing Emma's mind Jane skirted around her and walked up the stairs and out of the room. As she passed her class mated who had not moved since she had begun her song she heard Emma suggest to Paige that she should stay in Monet's room that night. She smiled a bit when Paige tried to refuse but ultimately she knew Emma would win. She also knew that once she closed the door to her room it would be locked behind her, so that she could not leave. 


	7. Depature

Relegated back to her room Jane sat on the edge of her bed. ~Great, they think I'm mad! ~ Jubilee Thought to herself. ~I'm not insane, but I could be there soon. I need help here. The Professor will know I'm telling the truth. ~ She stood up pulled an old army style duffle bag the ones that can hang over a shoulder and load from the top. She quickly added many of her belongings, her walkman, CD's, a book, a few changes of cloths mostly jeans and tee shirts her pj's and her hygiene kit. Shouldering the bag she climbed out her open window silently dropped to the ground and walked away. A short time later she stood in line at the bus station waiting to get on the bus that would take her back to the mansion. Not home the school was her home. She hope she would return but knew it would never be as Jubilee that part of her life was over. She had a few hours till the bus got to her stop she leaned back in her seat and settled in for the ride. But the evening had taken a lot out of her. She didn't last more than a few minutes and she fell asleep. 


	8. Arrival

Jane was a wakened by a man's voice telling her to get up. It took her a minute to remember where she was. "Thanks," she said sheepishly, "Didn't mean to fall asleep." The man smiled at her. She disembarked the bus and shouldered her bag, as she debated her next move. Should she call the mansion and get a ride or just walk there. She decided to walk, it would take longer to get there but she wasn't really sure what she would say when she got there. "Hey it's great to see you guy. Oh and by the way I've been lying to you for the past few years I'm really not Jubilee at all." She tested out loud, ~ yeah I can just picture how that would go over. Cyke would probably just toss me out on my ass. And Logan would give me one of his hurt looks maybe even ask me how I could have lied to him. Course he may not I mean no one knows his real name or Rogue's either. Maybe it won't be so bad. ~   
The walk was long but it wasn't long enough for her tastes. Summoning up her courage the opened the front door and walked in. It was quite she couldn't hear anyone ~ Course it's eleven and most of them a re probably out, or in bed. ~ She thought. Figuring the Professor should be the first person she talked to she headed for his office. He was there sitting behind his desk reading a very heavy looking book. "Hey" she called out. "Jubilee he said looking up, "Jubilee I though it was you but Emma did not say you where coming." "We…There…. um there was a problem. I um, I don't know how to explain this can you read my thoughts please?"   
The Professor was silent for a moment as he concentrated on Jane's thoughts the events of the evening replayed for him. After breaking the link he simply sat there looking at her for a moment. She had a rather dishevelled appearance he could feel the waves of fear, apprehension and fatigue rolling off her. "Have a seat Jane it appears we have much to talk about." Letting her bag fall to the ground she sat down in one of the over stuff soft Leather Chairs that sat in front of the professor's desk.  
"Are you mad?" Jane asked meekly with out looking at him, she hadn't made eye contact since he had left her mind.   
"No Of course not Jane" The Professor hovered round the desk so that he sat in front of the frightened child. "I have always known that Jubilee was not your real identity. But I did not want to push you. I believed that in time when you where ready you would tell me, as you have. You are not the first to hide you name." He smiled kindly at her.   
The young girls eyes closed in relief. She was about to reply when she was interrupted by a yawn. "Sorry it's late, today's been really long."   
"Of course, we can continue this in the morning if you wish. Your room is the way you left it."   
"Thanks. Um I want to tell the other about this myself."   
"I won't say a word! Other then to perhaps tell them that you are here. I will how ever have to call Emma and let her know you are here." At that statement Jane's eyes when wide with apprehension. "You will of course, need to remain her for a few days for some treatment. Seeing how she currently believes you to be insane I can't see her arguing with that. I will however omit the content of that therapy." Xavier smiled to her again.   
"Thanks," Yawn "Night" Jane picked up her bag and wound her way around the mansion to her old room. She was not quite ready for bed just yet. She owed it to Logan to tell his first. With a raising sense of apprehension she headed for his room. 


	9. Talking To Wolvie

"Come in." He bellowed when she knocked softly. She could hear the hockey game on his television set and smell cigars and beer before entering the room.   
"Hi" She fairly mewed as she opened the door.   
"Didn't know you were coming," Logan said as a large smile spread across his face. Jane joined his on the bed.   
"Didn't really plan it. I guess I got into a bit of trouble with Emma. I… I can't be her anymore Logan, I'm going to loose myself it I try anymore." Jane looked down at her hands as the word tumble out of her mouth and tears slowly dropped from her eyes.   
"What are you talking 'bout Darling? Who can't you be? You know you can tell me anything Jubilee."   
"I really didn't mean to lei to you. Well I guess I did but that was before I really knew you. Please don't be mad a t me."   
" Darling I could never be mad at you, least not for long. Tell me what's wrong."   
"I'm not Jubilee I wanted to be her. I though I wanted to be her. I wanted the pressure to stop. I wanted to be free."   
"Hey, look at me," Jane had begun crying in earnest again, "I can't be mad at you for that. No one knows my real name either. And don't go saying that it's different 'cause I can't remember my name. Rogue know hers and she still prefers to be Rogue." Jane smiled at him.   
"I need, I want to be Jane again. I'm going to stay here for awhile while the professor helps me sort it out. I want to tell you everything but it's kinda been a long day and I'm not sure I could take going over everything right now. Is it okay if we talk tomorrow?" She punctuated her sentence with a yawn.   
"Sure Darling, I'll be her for you whenever you're ready to talk." Logan pulled Jane into a hug. "You've always been like a daughter tome, I'd love you no mater who you where."  
"Thank Logan." Jane disentangled herself from Logan after a moment. Returning to her room she quickly shed her cloths in favour of her pyjamas and climbed in to bed. She was out before her head hit the pillow. 


	10. Breakfast at Xavier's

It was nine before Jane re-joined the land of the conscious the next day and that was only because Scott decided to mow the lawn. She showered and tossed on a set of blue jeans and a red tee and headed down to breakfast. By the response she received it was obvious to her that either the professor or Logan had told then she was there. There was an extra place set for her. She noticed to her annoyance that Scott had given up on the lawn for the time being and was also at the table. "Hi" she said as she sat down.   
"Jubilee please pass the salt." Jean asked.   
"Sure but its Jane." Jane dared as she passed the salt.   
"Excuse me?" Jean asked befuddled so did the rest of the table.   
"Its Jane, My name is Jane. Jane Legans"   
Most of the table seemed happy at that   
"Legan? The Gymnasts? You always did look familiar." Storm noted but left it at that.  
Scott however was not going to leave it at that. "So you just decided to change your name?"   
"Yes five years ago I decided that I needed to be someone else so I change my name and acted differently and now I'm going back."   
"So life got hard and you changed you name and ran away. Life's getting hard again so you change your name again now what you gonna run too." Scott said in a monotone voice. Logan began to stand and tear into Scott when Jane stopped him.  
"It's okay Logan Scott feels he needs an answer so I'll give him one. " Turning to Scott, "Yes and no Life didn't get hard it got unbearable."   
"Are you saying your life in unbearable know?" Asked a concerned Jean.  
"As Jubilee yeah. I created Jubilee to be the opposite of everything people expected me to be, uncoordinated, loud, dumb and lazy. I can't be her anymore it takes too much energy, and I can't even do most of the things I enjoyed. As Jubilee I couldn't just go to the library and get a book. You know I have a library card from a town away just so I can get books with out having to answer all sorts of questions."  
"Why?" Asked Rogue.   
"I like to read, always have."  
"No Ah meant"  
"I know what you meant. I guess just saying my parent made me would sound pretty contrite huh? Well I guess I just couldn't take the pressure anymore. My parents expected me to be the best. At Gymnastics at school at everything, and all at once. The month I left I was up to eight hours of Gymnastics. Three hours of music. Six hours of schoolwork. That's seventeen hours day with out travel time or meals, I got no down time and only five to six hours of sleep a night."   
"Why would anyone push their kids that hard?" Jean asked angered.   
"They liked the money and the notoriety it got them. In the first two months I was competing at a state level and up my we went from a used VW to a new Aero Star my parents took all the money I made and spent it. My dad said that after all his life of hard work he deserved a little of the good life. They started going to parties at night. Besides my mother always wanted to be a gymnast, she was horrible at it. So I guess she used me to live the life."  
"You told us you ran a way because your parents died in a car accident and you didn't want to go to a foster home? You lied about that too." Scoot Tossed in.  
"Sort of my parents are dead and they died in a car accident it was just a year after I ran away. They didn't even notice it you know. I gave them tons of chances to stop me. I had a friend help me pack up most of my room. The stuff that meant anything to me. She convinced her brother to help us out we packed up his car and drove down to a Store it all place I bought a locker. X-23, my stuff's still there. That was a week before I left. My parents never even noticed."  
"Have you lied about anything else? Your age? Your Gender?" Scoot pushed.  
"No and no I'm sixteen and female but you knew that."  
"When did you leave?" Storm Gently asked.  
"The day after my last competition. I won three thousand, my parents Decided to have dinner out to celebrate. They just didn't invite me. So I took the check and any lose bills I could find opened my own private bank account and put it in. It's kept with both a key and an access code. I think I found nearly two hundred that night, I maxed out my debit card that gave me another three hundred and with the money I had taken or been given depending on how you look at it. I left the account with about five thousand. Course I forgot to consider that I had to be Jane and go to that specific bank to get it. I maxed my debit card again the next day when I took off. That I kept in my pocked. I was mugged my third week on the streets. I still had about two hundred."  
"But the last competition you where in they said you where eleven?" Storm did the math. "You hadn't just run away when Logan found you, had you?"  
"No I was a two year veteran. If you don't mind I have to talk to the professor about some stuff." The truth was she was starting to feel like some oddity on display. She left noting for the first time that Rogue was nowhere in sight. 


	11. Adjustments

"So what changes do you need us to make at the school for you?" The professor asked even before she had knocked on his closed door. "I am hopping that you wish to remain with us."   
Jane opened the door and situated herself in one of the over stuffed chairs.   
"I definitely want to stay at the school. I want to be Jane though. And I want to take a placement test; I want to at least know where I am academically for myself. Other than that I don't think anything really needs to change. Although I would really appreciate it if you could convince Emma that I'm not mental before I go back." Jane smiled.   
"She does over re-act occasionally but she cares about you. You know that right?"   
"Yeah it comes through even when she doesn't want it to. Like when Paige broke her leg Emma totally mother henned her. I'm guessing you heard the breakfast conversation."   
"Yes. How are you felling this morning?"   
"Tired, a bit like a side show act but okay. I know you have questions too."  
"Yes I do. But only if you want to talk about it of course."   
"I don't mind just not too deep at the moment if you don't mind."  
"Very well, how about the placement test?"  
"I know it was a long time ago but I was pretty ahead for my age. And I've more them kept up in classes. Well most of them Grammar and Math have kind of become strange languages. I just want to see where I fit now."   
"This is why you always resisted others entering your mind?"   
"Yes I can lie in words but I wasn't sure I could keep you from finding out if you when out in to my mind. If that makes any sense."   
"What are your plans now? Emma does not expect you back at the school for a week or so."  
"I'd like to stay here for a few days. I want to get used to it again and have a chance to collect myself before going through this again at the school. What has Emma told them about me?"   
"She is still trying to convince them that you are having a psychotic episode. Do you want me to correct her?"  
"No I have to do this. This is my choice and I want her to know that. This has nothing to do with any breakdowns or repressed memories. This is just me."  
"Very well. The tests will be waiting for you when you return to the school."   
"Thank you, for helping me, for listening for everything."   
There is one other thing I want to do before I go back But Logan will help me. I want parts of my old life back there are some pictures and other stuff in my locker. And I'm going to get my account switched to where I can access it. I'm not going on a major spending spree, although I do need to alter my wardrobe slightly, I've just always felt bad about taking your money when I have my own. I wan to pay you back."   
"Jane don't worry about it, as I've told you before I find myself the last in a lineage of wealthy individuals each adding to the family fortune. With no one to leave the money to I decided a long time a go that the best thing I could do was help others. It's something I've really enjoyed and the amount my family has amassed will carry the School and mansion long after my death. There is no repayment necessary. And I wont take any."  
"Are you sure I can't convince you other wise, I mean it could just be another part of the mansion."  
"From what you have told me you earned that money and deserve to have it to spend on things other than necessities. Hold onto it, if it still bothers you when you are older then help someone else with it."   
"Thank you sir. If you don't have anymore questions I promised Logan I'd talk to him about this."  
"No I'll be here if you need to talk."   
"Thank you again."   
Jane got up and left the office she when out in search of Logan. 


	12. Rooftop Confesions

After she had searched his room, the danger room and the gym she figured that he was probably roaming the grounds. The easiest why to find him then was to go to the roof for an aerial view.   
"What are you doing up here?" Jane asked surprised to see Rogue sitting up on the roof.  
"Ah could ask ya'll the same question."  
"I'm looking for Logan I promised to talk to him today. I know he never comes up her but it's easier to spot him on the grounds from up here."  
"Ah come here when Ah need to think, or want to be alone."  
"What cha thinking 'bout, or you want me to take off?"  
"No stay. Ah guess what yah are doing kinda struck a cord in me. Ah mean I get it you know, Ah understand the way you feel. We did the same thing just fo' different reasons."  
"I always wondered why you never tell anyone about your real name. Logan can't remember his I wanted to be someone else. You talk about your childhood you don't want to be someone else. So why go to the trouble?"  
"It keeps me safe. Makes it easier."   
"How? How can having to hide who you are be easier?"  
"Same way keeping a distance from people does. The closer people get, the more they know about me, the more Ah know about hem the harder it gets to be alone."  
"I still don't understand."   
"Jane Think about how yah act with Paige or Jono or Everett. How many times do yah pat their backs of shake their hand or put a hand on their shoulder? How often do they do them to yah? I can't do that, not with out worrying. The further away Ah stay the easier it is not to touch." Tears slowly cascaded down Rogue's face.  
"I'm sorry, I never figured. I knew it had to be hard but you never seem to care."  
"Looks can be deceiving, you should know that."   
"I guess we have something in common huh?" Jane sat down next to Rogue looking straight ahead in to the distance.   
"What's that?" Rogue looked over a t Jane then looked straight a head again and off into the distance.  
"We both have abilities that alienate us from people, abilities that caused us to run off."  
"I guess, yah felt alone cause of yahr talent?"  
"Yeah, people put me up on a pedestal. It's hard to make friend when everybody is five feet away. I don't think it's so much the talent as how people re-act to it."  
"People see something different so they alienate it or put it on a pedestal. I suppose it doesn't matter if the five feet is vertical or horizontal it still hurts."  
"Can I ask you something?"  
"Sure."  
"When it's all said and done, if given the chance would you change it. If you could go back be a teenager again not have powers, no absorption, no super strength, and no flying, but be home and with your family. A chance to grow up in Mississippi, would you take it?"  
"Ah'd love to say yes and for a long time Ah would have. But knowing what Ah know, having met so many people, been so many places, seen so many things. Something tells me if Ah had stayed Ah would have been looking down the road and wondering what was out there."  
"Devil you know is better then the devil you don't kind of thing huh?" Jubilee remarked distractedly.  
"Yeah, what about yah? If yah could go back never have started gymnastics stayed at home would yah?  
"I think my parents would have found something else. Even with out the gymnastics I'd have probably still run away. Even if I could go back I don't think I could have changed anything."  
"Yah wanna know something it took me my entire life and lot of frustration to figure out?"  
"What's that?"  
"A person is going ta be who their going ta be, and sometimes yah just can't do nothing change that even in yahrself. Sometimes a person's gotta do something to get what they need, even when they don't know what they need."  
"I guess I needed to run away and become Jubilee to get "Popeye'."  
"What?" Rouge looked over at Jane completely confused.  
"I am what I am, and that's all that I am!" Jane smiled and looked a Rogue " I thought that Jubilee was exactly what I wanted, exactly what I needed to be. But I just needed to learn how to be comfortable with myself. I probably I still have away to go with that. But"  
"It's a hell of a lot easier to get used to yahrself as yahrself, huh?"  
"Yeah, did you ever try to be some one else?"  
"No, not really Ah couldn't change my problem so changing who Ah was wouldn't have done nothin'." They both sat on the roof looking out into the distance for sometime before they spoke again.   
Rogue broke the silence, "So what happens to Jubilee?"  
"I don't know I guess if I stop being her she', just go away."  
"Does that bother yah?"  
"It didn't completely suck to be her. I don't think was always acting when I was her. Wanna hear something really weird."  
"What?"  
"I don't feel like I'm making a major change. It's more like I'm throwing away my security blanket."  
"That's what being someone else is, even if it's only the name. It keeps yah safe from people."  
Just then Logan roared up the drive on his bike. "There's Logan, I should go. Thanks Rogue!"  
"No Problem, good luck Jane!" Rogue called after Jane as she left. Then more quietly to herself, "Ah wish I had your courage." 


	13. Epilogue

*********************The Next Monday**********************  
Jane had finished her placement tests and was talking with the professor on the phone. "You are above average in most areas. Math and grammar are as you predicted you worst subject but you still score with in you age range in them. I will instruct Emma and Sean to place you in advance classes." The Professor said sounding very proud.  
"Cool If you don't mind then I think Emma's beginning her advanced English class now, I think I'll join them." Since her return to the Academy on Saturday she had spent very little time with her classmates except for her roommate. Most of her time had been devoted to taking the placement tests and with convincing Emma that she was not insane.  
"Of course, have fun child."  
"I will thanks Professor." Jane hung up the phone and headed don the hall. She stopped in front of a classroom and hesitated a moment before entering.   
Monet, Everett and Emma looked up as she entered the room. "I think you might be lost Jubilee. This is advanced English."  
Jane's face light up with a huge smile as she replied. "It's Jane and I'm not lost. Not anymore!" 


End file.
